? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize