Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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