i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
