She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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