can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
