I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
