In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
