I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
