I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
