U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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