All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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