got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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