apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
