Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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