I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Randomize
