Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
