I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
