Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
