I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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