Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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