I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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