i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
birth control should be required to get into college
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize