someone get that fucking seahorse.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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