how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize