But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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