Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
