Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Randomize
