fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
40s are totally the cure
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
