It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
