On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
