For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
