Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize