last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
