I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize