I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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