Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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