Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
