He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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