just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
