listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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