she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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