I love black thongs
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
