If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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