I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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