Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.

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(303): View more from Colorado

They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.

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(407): View more from Florida

This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?

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(530): View more from California

She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential

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(817): View more from Texas

Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain

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(574): View more from Indiana

His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart

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