i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
