With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
