So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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