I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
