Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I deserve this hangover.
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