Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
