I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
