Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
