Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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