you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
