no, he came in my armpit
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
