remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
