I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
