god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
