I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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