And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
