What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
As shirtless as possible
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
