community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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