We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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