it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
