He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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