he shaved USA in his pubs
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
