It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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