so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
